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Theresa
My family and I walked last year in the autumn to Hamburg. We lived there in a hostel at Indian. That was very funny, because they had a wedding. Than we drove with our car in the city.
In the city we visited the Miniature Wonderland that was very sweet because there was all thinks very small. There was an airport with a take-off and landing strip of planes. These could even take off there. Then there was a harbour where AIDA also left.
In the evening we go on the Elbphilharmonie and watching the harbour in the darkness. That was very beautiful. There were many beautiful lights in the city in the darkness.
At the next day we visited the Hamburger Dungeon. That was a horror show where you'd go through and sometimes drive. In addition one had to solve also already times tasks. It was very crazy.
In the afternoon we made a tour with the red bus. That was very interesting because we saw a lot of Hamburg.
In the evening we met a friend and visited with him the Michel. That was very funny.
On sunday we made a boat tour on the Elbe and through the Speicherstadt and the harbour.
The holidays were beautiful but much too short.
Feedback von Fiona:
Does it have clear paragraphs?
What is the topic sentence in each paragraph?
Do you get information about the 5 Ws?
I found your Text good. You Have clear paragraphs and you have many Topic sentences. You have many Information about Hamburg.I found seven Topic sentences and paragraphs.