5

Sascha

My birthday in Russia

Last Year, my family and I celebrated my birthday in Russia. We went to Russia, because my parents comes out there and it was the summer holidays. There live my aunts, cousins and my grandparents.

We did lot of things. First we swam in a lake. It was very cold there! Then we played togheter football. I was with my dad in a team versus my mum and my brother. Of course my dad and I won this game. Too easy!

In the evening we ate a yummy cake with a chocolate sauce. Hmmm.. delicious!

Later we celebrated my birthday with the presents. I became a new playstation 4 game! That was really nice!

Feedback from Ina to Sascha

Does it have clear paragraphs? What is the topic sentence in each paragraph? Do you get information about the 5 Ws?

When -> Last year what -> they celebrait her Birthday and visited his family why -> Because they visited his family who -> Sascha's Family where -> in Russia

It was a good text with many paragraphs and few errors