22

Andreas

By the lake

During the summer holidays my friend and I drove to a lake. When we were there, it was 3 pm. So we went down the path. Then we played volleyball and I won. After that we played football in the sand and my friend won the football match.

My friend and I wanted to swim and then we went in the water. When we swam my friend Luke saw a snake at the beach and he screamed. So we ran out of the water and I looked at the snake, because I like snakes, but my friend Luke didn’t like snakes. I saw the snake and I said to my friend that this was not a dangerous snake. I took the snake and put it in the small forest next to the beach.

When we drove home, I told my mum about this,also my dad and my brother and they were happy that I helped the snake to get into the forest. I think the snake was also happy.

Does it have clear paragraphs? Yes, it has clear paragraphs.

What is the topic sentence in each paragraph? At the summer holidays; My friend and I drove to a sea; When we

Do you get information about the 5 Ws? Yes, that's okay.

Feedback I found the text very interessing and it has some mistakes but the text is okay.