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Maxim

In my Free time I play some games on my Laptop. I play sometimes GTA V and Paladins and I play often Fortnite and cs:go. I play with online friends or with my normal Friends. When I play with Friends it’s very Funny. We talk on Discord or on a voice chat, the voice chat is very buggy. I likes shooter games because there is very much action. I like cs:go because it’s a game where you get better when you play it often. That’s it with my free time activity.

Feeback from Fiona to Maxim

activity-> activities

Free-> free

I found your text good ,but you have write more. You have can say what you do in the game.

You have use more adjektives.You have can write too what you do other things in your free time.